The 5 Types of Runners

Happy happy, joy joy–it’s Friday, which means it’s time for the DC Trifecta’s Friday 5 Link-Up! Please check out the Trifecta’s individual blogs: Courtney at Eat, Pray, Run DCMar at Mar on the Run, and Cynthia at You Signed up for What?! And If you’re a blogger, please consider linking up.

IMG_0998Today’s theme is National Running Day, so I’ve decided to honor our most honorable sport/hobby/escape by profiling The 5 Types of Runners:

5.  The Competitor

toeing the line - alsoranagainThese ones are easy to spot. They’re usually toeing the line at every race, or at least close enough to spit on the start line. They look and run like gazelles. They can wear booty shorts and not only does nothing fall out, they look good in them. They could qualify for the Boston Marathon in a three-legged race. They win, and win often. They may be aloof, but they’re not rude; they’re pros.

4.  That Guy (as in, “Eww… look at that guy”)

Stay away. Just stay away. You know that guy (or gal, in theory, although I’ve never encountered one) who already smells like he ran a marathon before the race even starts? The one who hocks a loogie in a race without looking to see if he’s going to spit on someone? The one who aims a snot rocket at you when you run by? The guy whose spandex leggings are so thin you can see his everything?

3.  Fun Bob

mustache dache - alsoranagain

I’m not saying I’m a Fun Bob, but it does take a little whimsy to wear a ‘stache during a race.

Everybody loves Fun Bob (well, except for maybe the Lone Wolf, below). Fun Bob wears tutus or costumes, chats you up in the start area, and high-fives spectators at races. He always says “hi!” to other runners when he passes them on a run. Fun Bob doesn’t care too much about her time because she’s just happy to be running. She belongs to running clubs, organizes group runs, and likes to make new runners feel welcome. Fun Bob can be found on the #RunChat, dispensing helpful advice.  Sometimes she has 13.1 or 26.2 stickers on her car. Fun Bob wants everyone to love running as much as she does.

2.  Lone Wolf

The Lone Wolf is all about the Lone Wolf. The Lone Wolf will line up at a race anywhere between the start line and the middle of the pack. She takes running quite seriously and doesn’t want anything to distract her from her running goals. If that means she needs to nudge you to get out of her way at the start of a race, then so be it. The Lone Wolf is the type of runner who will talk to someone who’s just run her first marathon and ask, “So what was your time?” The Lone Wolf is incapable of slowing down on a group run to run with his friends, and will speed off to the front by himself to prove he can.  He also spends time contributing to the boards on and rolls his eyes when he sees 13.1 or 26.2 stickers on cars.

1.  The Addict

claire danes cry

“I can’t… run?”

The Addict needs to run. If she gets injured, she goes through the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Like Fun Bob, she is quite social. Many of her friends are runners, and she is frequently described by those outside that inner circle as “a runner.” The Addict belongs to clubs like the Marathon Maniacs or Half Fanatics. She owns more running apparel than regular clothes, and running shoes are spilling out of her closet.  He is capable of completing running streaks. The Addict has a blog or is otherwise active on social media to discuss running.

So, which type of runner are you? Did I miss a runner type? Have you ever been shamed by a Lone Wolf? Spat on by That Guy? 

25 thoughts on “The 5 Types of Runners

  1. Haha I love this! I’m definitely a 3, maybe a bit of a 5? I love having fun while running, don’t take it too seriously, have a blog, and am described as a runner when people introduce me. Also, my running outfit situation is crazy!

  2. LOL this is hilarious! I think I fall into the Addict category. Though I like to think I am the competitor…at least at local races! I wear the booty shorts but I don’t know that I actually look GOOD in said shorts! HA!

  3. Oh, my gosh! That guy! Um, I’m pretty sure That Guy ran past me at last Saturday’s race, smelling as if he’d not showered all week as part of some sort of superstitious pre-race ritual, and he also blew a nice snot rocket without looking around him first. Yuck! I think I’ve got some Fun Bob, Lone Wolf AND Addict mixed in together – ha! Love this! Hope you have a great weekend, Molly.

  4. Sue @ This Mama Runs For Cupcakes says:

    Hmmm, I think I’m kind of an addict although I’m not a member of half fanatics or marathon maniacs and I don’t like run streaks…but other than that it’s pretty much dead on!

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