Anyone else sick of that song?
I’m starting to feel like the most wishy-washy person ever. Why? Well, remember this post? No? Here’s a summary:
You see, about a month ago, I was just bursting with excitement to announce that I had indeed decided to run the Chicago Marathon after all, shitty foundation and minimal training be damned. I wasn’t going to BQ or PR, just run it and (try to) enjoy it. My coach, Kris, blessed this decision while still leaving me with some caveats. The first of which was that I needed to accept that I might injure myself.
Despite this rather large warning (practically complete with flashing warning sign and sirens), I was all-in. I had my Airbnb reserved, my flights purchased, and dinner reservations made. Meet-up plans were progressing. It was happening!
… Until it wasn’t. Come late August, I decided my plan to run Chicago probably wasn’t a good idea. For one thing, the longest I run I finished in August was 8 miles. Second, I’m getting long in tooth and it doesn’t take a hell of a lot for me to get injured anymore. Third, it just wasn’t working out, work-wise. So I quietly informed my husband, family, coach, and running friends that I was backing out.
It’s kind of embarrassing, really.
But I keep thinking about some excellent advice my coach gave me at the end of last year or the beginning of this year or some other time (there are so many) when I was in the running-doldrums: I need to stop holding on so tightly. To what? That second BQ. That PR. That promise to race with a friend. That desire to go to Chicago. That highly-sought-after Girl and the Goat reservation.
Once I stop holding on so tightly to these hard-and-fast goals, and beating myself up when an obstacle prevents me from reaching them, I might actually end up better off.
It sounds counter intuitive to the usual advice, which is that you should hold fast to your goals and keep running, full stop.
But I didn’t give up on my goals, I gave up on Chicago (for this year). There will be another BQ, and another PR. Just not this October.
I need to just chill out and let it go. Onward!
Have you ever DNS’ed a race? Are you racing this fall? What are some of your big running goals?